


Matsuri Reacts To: la filette revolutionaire

by BiblioMatsuri



Series: #matsuri reacts [1]
Category: Shoujo Kakumei Utena | Revolutionary Girl Utena
Genre: Gen, Meta, Originally Posted on Tumblr, canon-typical trigger warnings
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-16
Updated: 2018-12-16
Packaged: 2019-09-20 14:07:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 13,408
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17024049
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BiblioMatsuri/pseuds/BiblioMatsuri
Summary: A collection of my thoughts on Revolutionary Girl Utena.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> The hellsite is dying, so I'm backing up all of my meta here. This one's for Revolutionary Girl Utena, which I started rewatching over a year ago and still haven't finished yet.
> 
> The first six chapters of this work are backups from tumblr, plain and unedited. Hopefully I'll have more material in future.

## Revolutionary Girl Utena

DID YOU KNOW THAT THE ENTIRETY OF REVOLUTIONARY GIRL UTENA IS UP ON YOUTUBE

AND APPARENTLY THE VIDEOS PLAY FOR FREE

[subs are [here](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fplaylist%3Flist%3DPLrrh84y760v-hDEulas0Tp_wiQy0FcjLl&t=MDNlMThiMzk5ZDFiODEyYWZiYTZmNmQzMGI1ZDJjZDA5Nzk0ODZlMyxjbzdoNXNFYQ%3D%3D&b=t%3A9nz1CTF245iQXniZOuIHpA&p=https%3A%2F%2Fbibliomatsuri.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F166481383264%2Frevolutionary-girl-utena&m=1), dubs start [here](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DgdWr5YCoRGM&t=ZWM4YTgxMWZmNTIwZjA4ZDA5YjFkYjAwYTQzNGUzMjAyZTY5YjEzYyxjbzdoNXNFYQ%3D%3D&b=t%3A9nz1CTF245iQXniZOuIHpA&p=https%3A%2F%2Fbibliomatsuri.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F166481383264%2Frevolutionary-girl-utena&m=1)]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 16 October 2017 #IN CASE YOU CAN'T TELL FROM THE CAPSLOCK I'M SUPER EXCITED  
> #/and/ i have no idea if/when the videos might get taken down so this is a thing i'm going to be watching /soon/ ykw  
> #eee #revolutionary girl utena #links #video #full episodes #watch online #i have no words for how excited i am rn #aaa


	2. Chapter 2

[umbraloptimatum](http://umbraloptimatum.tumblr.com/) replied to your link “[Revolutionary Girl Utena](https://bibliomatsuri.tumblr.com/post/166481383264/revolutionary-girl-utena)”

> I think they’ve been up for a while? Or at least it was up, no clue if it was taken down. (Also I don’t know which you’re watching but the sub is Way Better)

Yeah, they’ve been up since 2013, but I literally found the videos ~2 mins before I made that post. so.

(Here’s hoping they don’t get taken down before I can watch them all.)

I haven’t actually started yet, because I know myself well enough to know that I’d immediately pitch myself deep into the Fandom Hype Zone and I’m… historically not the greatest at self-control and/or not letting escapism swallow my brain. Kinda ironic, considering some of the subject matter.

Anyway, yeah, I’m gonna watch the sub this time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 17 October 2017 #replies #umbraloptimatum  
> #i actually watched up through the black rose arc (funimation dub) waaaaay back in like middle school?  
> #wow so much went right over my head  
> #and since then i've been spoiled on most of the Big Plot Twists but also the journey is the destination  
> #tl;dr: i really really want to watch this show properly  
> #and i will hopefully be doing that very soon #:)  
> #revolutionary girl utena #matsuri blathers


	3. Chapter 3

notes from the [Utena](https://bibliomatsuri.tumblr.com/post/166481383264/revolutionary-girl-utena) [rewatch](https://bibliomatsuri.tumblr.com/post/166494415074/umbraloptimatum-replied-to-your-link), part 1a:

[part 1a; [part 1b](https://bibliomatsuri.tumblr.com/post/166651880479/utena-rewatch-notes-part-1b-part-1a-part-1b); [part 1c](https://bibliomatsuri.tumblr.com/post/166955815024/liveblogging-revolutionary-girl-utena-part-1c);]

OK, I’m through to S1 E7 “Unfulfilled Jury” so far and…

First of all, someone please kick Touga in the nuts. 

He has absolutely earned it. What kind of asshole creeps on middle school girl like that? What kind of absolute festering pusboil slouches around with sex hair and his clothes half off, bragging to a 12yo kid what an easy lay his also-12yo sister is?

Oh, and yeah. That’s a thing I completely missed on my first watch-through, back when I was literally actually 14 and didn’t pay much attention to the ages and age differences of fictional characters:

Utena is a freakin’ middle schooler. According to the guidance counselor’s announcement in “Unfulfilled Jury”, she’s in class 2-A. [Japanese junior high schools go from seventh to ninth grades](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Fen.wikipedia.org%2Fwiki%2FSecondary_education_in_Japan&t=YmUwNGY1MTAzOWRhYjdlNTZiODYzNzI1YTYzOTI1MDA3MTFmODJmYix3RExwc2pkUg%3D%3D&b=t%3A9nz1CTF245iQXniZOuIHpA&p=https%3A%2F%2Fbibliomatsuri.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F166645245269%2Fnotes-from-the-utena-rewatch-part-1a-part-1a&m=1), so Utena’s in the equivalent of eighth grade. She’s most likely 13, at _most_ 14 years old.

From where I’m standing, a child.

(The duelists are all literal freaking children. Okay, the original student council members aside from Miki are all outright stated / heavily implied to be in high school, whatever. Teenagers, and _barely_ teenagers in a lot of cases.

That did not hit this hard when I was that age.)

And getting back to the subject of asshole behavior … literally everyone, Utena included.

Yes, Utena included. What I’m talking about is right at the start, in S1 E2 “For Whom The Rose Smiles” when Utena tells Anthy she’ll lose the duel with Saionji on purpose. This is after Utena’s seen the shitty way Saionji treated Anthy in S1 E1 “The Rose Bride”, and Anthy’s told Utena quite a few times that she must do as ‘whomever is engaged to the Rose Bride’ wants her to do. 

I mean, it’s clear that Utena doesn’t _mean_ any harm - she isn’t taking this crap that seriously yet. She’s just barely bellyflopped into the shallow end of Ohtori Academy’s nexus of surreal fractured-fairytale weird at this point. But doing harm through not considering the consequences of one’s actions on other people, though just the inevitable self-centered tunnel vision of being thirteen - of being a flawed human being - is still doing harm. Harm through inaction still hurts people. Anthy’s dead-fish-eyed fake-cheery response to Utena blithely saying she won’t fight in the duels / to win Anthy just confirms that.

And another thing. The thing is…. well, the word “thing”. Utena first spells it out in S1 E5 “The Sunlit Garden - Finale”, in response to Anthy calmly reiterating that yes, she obeys the person engaged to the Rose Bride no matter what. To paraphrase the Nozomi sub,

> I can’t believe in the justice of any system that curtails anyone’s personal freedom like that!

Utena. Utena, you utterly sincerely well-intentioned shining example of _not being horrible_.

Utena is literally the only person we see who treats Anthy like a person, not a coveted possession and/or a means to an end. And Anthy is so shocked, the first time, when Utena says “I don’t know what’s going on but I’m helping you anyway” - and yeah, the first duel against Saionji was revenge for hurting her friend, but see that? “I don’t know what’s going on.” Utena isn’t fighting because she wants some amazing power that the Rose Bride is the key to - and in episode 2, she was pretty clearly actively trying to keep Saionji away from Anthy so he wouldn’t hurt her again (as much as she super-convincingly says it was for Chu-chu’s sake).

And that’s the thing. As selfish and flawed as Utena can be, she is so good. She’s _giving_. Once she really cares about what happens to you, she’ll put herself through eighty kinds of hell for your sake, and she’s not in the least subtle about it. Anthy has to know this by now. (…I’m really worried for Utena now, and I don’t think that’s unjustified.)

And here I loop back around to Anthy being a person, and Utena being the only one to acknowledge this. Miki calls her “kagayaku mono / that shining thing” - he does as [Petrarchan poets](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Fen.wikipedia.org%2Fwiki%2FShakespeare%27s_sonnets%23Themes&t=MjM5NDU0YzcwOWY4MmFmOWQyNThiMjQxMGRhZGU4MjgzOTE4MDNjYix3RExwc2pkUg%3D%3D&b=t%3A9nz1CTF245iQXniZOuIHpA&p=https%3A%2F%2Fbibliomatsuri.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F166645245269%2Fnotes-from-the-utena-rewatch-part-1a-part-1a&m=1) did, and raises the object of his art on pedestal as a thing of perfect untouchable beauty. 

His dorky-12yo crush on Anthy is cute at first, until  
A) we find out that the girl she reminds him of is his sister  
and  
B) he goes up to Utena and challenges her for Anthy’s hand, because her “beautiful music” makes her up entirely as a “thing he must protect”.

Again, with the same word “mono”, thing, _thing_ \- object of his feelings, object of his art, _object_ \- thing. Among other things, the Sunlit Garden episodes deconstruct the idea of the artist’s muse. Miki’s crush on Anthy starts with being reminded of his estranged sister, and then on Touga’s prompting (really not helped by his sister’s *ahem* involvement) he reduces her down to just her piano-playing - just her _use_ as his objet d’art. *facepalm*

And then there’s Juri’s awful mess of repression and aggression, culminating in that time it looked like she was creeping on Utena but no, she was just straight-up physically attacking her. And that ring - yeah, I-over-here-in-the-audience can tell that this whole thing with the ring and the duels is shady as hell, but that ring is really important to Utena. Of course she’s going to try her best to keep it.

And Juri? Juri just straight-up needs to sort through her own emotions and issues with locket girl, without taking her bitterness out on convenient targets.

(Slightly-random personal side note on Juri and Locket Girl:

Way back, “Unfulfilled Jury” was my introduction to homosexuality as a trope. On the rewatch, there were so many hints (the fade-in to locket girl’s face, the [orange roses](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.theflowerexpert.com%2Fcontent%2Faboutflowers%2Fflowermeanings%2Frose-flower-meanings&t=YTUxMDBiZmJjMTM3NGE1YWI0MTJmZDlhZDEwZmExNDM2NTllMTAxMix3RExwc2pkUg%3D%3D&b=t%3A9nz1CTF245iQXniZOuIHpA&p=https%3A%2F%2Fbibliomatsuri.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F166645245269%2Fnotes-from-the-utena-rewatch-part-1a-part-1a&m=1), Juri asking Utena why she dresses like a boy, Juri’s _name_ ) about Juri being a lesbian - about her crush being on the girl, not the guy - but I just flat-out didn’t get it, not right until the end, when she opens the locket while talking about her “feelings that can never be fulfilled.”

That was literally how I first encountered the idea that girls like-liking girls could actually be a legitimate thing. In stories, anyway.

…I was a very sheltered and repressed child, and I’m going to have a lot more to say on compulsory heterosexuality and gender roles once we get to the S1 Touga duels.)

As for Locket Girl herself, just… *sigh* Juri, no. She clearly hasn’t been good for you, or to you. Nobody who goes behind your back and messes with you like that is worth a second thought imo. (But I’m actually a very unromantic person. There are _reasons_ this series stuck with me.)

And beyond that, there’s the whole creepy mess with Nanami’s crush on Touga - and Nanami being apparently the only girl he doesn’t creep on; he just avoids her and pushes her away instead, which probably contributes to her blatant attention-seeking.

And there’s Nanami’s puppeteering and use of minions to bully people, Nanami’s minions happily doing her dirty work - Nanami and her minions publicly humiliating Anthy with a dissolving dress, in the middle of a huge fancy party, what the hell. 

Utena ditching the froofy dress for her prince outfit and _making Anthy a dress mid-party_ so they could dance together was one of my favorite moments, but just the fact that it was necessary? Utena had to rescue Anthy because Anthy needed help. Anthy is the Rose Bride, and I think part of that is playing the role of a “thing that must be protected” - she exists so her “fiance” can save her.

What. the. fuck.

What is this shit with this stupid idea that girls are all helpless damsels who need big strong men to save them - no, that girls _should be_ helpless damsels waiting for heroes to rescue them, instead of even trying to save their own damn selves?!

Because that’s …not a message that this show is encouraging, exactly. (Just look at Utena! Also Juri.) But it’s clearly a narrative that all of the characters, to some extent or another, buys into and believes and acts out. It’s a story that everyone believes, and another name for that is a social norm. #breakthepatriarchy

And on a hopefully-only-circumstantially-related note - once (Miki and his sister) is happenstance, twice (Nanami and Touga) might be circumstance, but thrice (Mitsuru and Nanami) is most definitely enemy action. What is with this pattern of the “male guardian” roles of older brother and _lover_ being conflated? What the actual hell?

*sigh* and I haven’t even gotten to the Black Rose arc yet. I haven’t even gotten to the Touga duels.

This is going to hurt, I know it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 21 October 2017 #matsuri reacts #revolutionary girl utena  
> #i haven't even covered everything bc i wasn't taking written notes along the way  
> #all this is purely just off the top of my head  
> #discussion of: #sexism #cultural sexism #gender roles #compulsory heterosexuality #abuse #incest in fiction  
> #...okay i think that's all the triggers? #canon-typical tws #anyway  
> #and i'm probably going to be tagging a lot of these posts with this: #queer stuff   
> #cut for length #trivia #(and i forgot the character tags dangit) #kiryuu touga #kaoru miki #tenjou utena #himemiya anthy #saionji kyouichi #chu-chu (rgu) #arisugawa juri #kiryuu nanami #tsuwabuki mitsuru


	4. Chapter 4

Utena rewatch notes, part 1b:

[[part 1a](https://bibliomatsuri.tumblr.com/post/166645245269/notes-from-the-utena-rewatch-part-1a-part-1a); part 1b; [part 1c](https://bibliomatsuri.tumblr.com/post/166955815024/liveblogging-revolutionary-girl-utena-part-1c);]

So I just got done with s1 e9 “The Castle Said to Hold Eternity” and-

(aside from the shadow girls)

-every single line spoken in this episode is painful irony of the highest order, isn’t it?

…

And I still think Saionji is an entitled shit, but Touga just - _chivalrous_ my foot, _feminist_ my _ass_. Somebody stab him somewhere permanent.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 21 October 2017 #matsuri reacts #revolutionary girl utena  
> #adding 'an eternal thing' to the list of arc words  
> #...and 'your prince was a guy like me' is /real fucking ominous/ all of a sudden  
> #especially considering [spoilers that i'm not supposed to know yet] but also bc the guy saying that line is a fuckwad  
> #saionji kyouichi #kiryuu touga #trivia


	5. Preliminary Notes on Self-Wrought Cages - The Student Council Saga Concluded

Liveblogging _Revolutionary Girl Utena_ , part 1c: 

 

## Preliminary Notes on Self-Wrought Cages - The Student Council Saga Concluded

 

This is a ~8000 word ramblepost mixing literary criticism, personal essay, and my neverending fury at oppressive social structures. Here I cover episodes 8 through 12 of RGU, with brief references to other episodes as they come up. Episode quotes are directly quoted and/or paraphrased from the Nozomi subs, which can be found [here](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fplaylist%3Flist%3DPLrrh84y760v-hDEulas0Tp_wiQy0FcjLl&t=YjQ0ZDhjN2IwZmYxYTEyZjJlNWZjNDdkY2JiMjU2NjIxNWYwZmE0OCxCY1V3ZHhLVQ%3D%3D&b=t%3A9nz1CTF245iQXniZOuIHpA&p=https%3A%2F%2Fbibliomatsuri.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F166955815024%2Fliveblogging-revolutionary-girl-utena-part-1c&m=1) on YouTube. Screencaps are also from the Nozomi subs. All outside sources are linked in-text.

[[part 1a](https://bibliomatsuri.tumblr.com/post/166645245269/notes-from-the-utena-rewatch-part-1a-part-1a); [part 1b](https://bibliomatsuri.tumblr.com/post/166651880479/utena-rewatch-notes-part-1b-part-1a-part-1b); part 1c;]

I referred to these as “the Touga episodes” in a previous post, because they’re the first ones where he’s a direct antagonist …but they’re not _about_ Touga. They’re about the patriarchy, the systematic enforcement thereof, and some of the myriad reasons why it needs to be fought. 

There’s also this revolutionary idea that maybe being a girl doesn’t mean you have to be a good little bride-to-be. Gender roles are a cage.

It starts - well, if we’re counting the Touga-and-Nanami mess and the girl-in-the-coffin incident, it started years and years ago - but the main conflict of this arc is actually hinted at in s1 e8 “Curried High Trip”.

For the most part, aside from really grinding in the point that Nanami’s attitude to Touga & the way he treats her is /made of poison/ on both sides, this ep is just a funny ‘Freaky Friday Flip’ sort of storyline featuring the main character and her …what even is Anthy to Utena at this point, ha ha. Yeah, yeah, the Rose Bride is engaged to the winner of the duels, but this ep isn’t about that. It’s about Utena and Anthy being themselves, while being treated as each other - and here’s where the first cracks in Utena’s 'cool prince’ persona start showing, when Saionji corners her in the storeroom.

I think I’m not alone in assuming that scene was potentially going to go awful places (Anthy letting people hurt her and only sometimes passive-aggressively getting revenge later is a _thing_ , which raises… very uncomfortable questions in anything resembling a sexual context) and then… oh hey, it’s just the exchange diary Saionji mentioned to Touga in like, episode 1 or 2. Phew. Problem solved, right?

Um. Not really, no, because this is the first of what I suspect are going to be a lot of instances where Utena’s generally reckless personality clashes with “how girls are supposed to act” - and girls aren’t supposed to fight back when boys drag them around, right. Anthy definitely isn’t supposed to try to resist _anything_ (*double-seething*). And here, cornered by a guy twice her size - even though it’s already made clear that Utena is just as athletic and kickass as 'Anthy’ as she normally is - Utena doesn’t try to fight. She covers her eyes, gets grossed out (which is entirely understandable, she’s literally thirteen) and seems to just kind of… hope he stops. And hey, he just wanted to give her an exchange diary! That’s not so bad, right? What a relief.

…on one level, kind of. On every other? It’s further proof of Saionji’s creepy obsession with ~~Anthy~~ the Rose Bride (which is its own set of problems) and the first* hint that no, Utena is not actually entirely unaffected by society’s expectations for how young girls should behave.

*…well, the first hint in these episodes. The actual first hint is Utena’s search for “her prince”, and Utena going briefly starry-eyed over Touga for like .2 seconds earlier on - until Wakaba tells her he’s the school’s biggest playboy, at which point Utena goes 'yeah, no way he’s my “prince on a white horse”’ and decides to keep looking. Those exact words. Utena, no. (please no)

Just look at how she goes all sickly-sweet and fake-adoring at Saionji when she returns the diary. (After writing “DUMB ASS” in it, which… *snickers* spot on.) She wears (her fancy protagonist version of) a boys’ uniform to school, but she’s still taking home ec class with the other girls. She beats the boys at basketball, but she says she won’t join the team because ’/ew/, boy sweat’. She wants to be a prince, and… she wants to be a princess. Because that’s how these stories go, right?

> Touga: The stories always end with the prince and princess together, right?
> 
> Juri: We haven’t reached the last scene yet.

-e12 “For Friendship, Perhaps”

Right. 

And that comes back, again and again - the question of 'do I be a girl like I’m supposed to be’? That’s half of the central conflict of episodes 11 and 12, the question of how a girl who acts like a prince can still be a girl. Touga’s answer is that she /isn’t/ - so be a good girl, Utena, and let the men handle all the hard tasks and serious decisions for you, hm? (*retch*)

It’s there in e9 “The Castle Said To Hold Eternity”, where we get that flashback to the boys - and the girl in the coffin. The girl who (though Saionji clearly never makes the connection, considering he consistently uses ['kisama’](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=http%3A%2F%2Ftvtropes.org%2Fpmwiki%2Fpmwiki.php%2FUsefulNotes%2FJapanesePronouns&t=MThkYzFkMmI5MzM5NDM1MTA3MjZhNTMyZGQyMGRkMjUyZjRlNzcxZSxCY1V3ZHhLVQ%3D%3D&b=t%3A9nz1CTF245iQXniZOuIHpA&p=https%3A%2F%2Fbibliomatsuri.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F166955815024%2Fliveblogging-revolutionary-girl-utena-part-1c&m=1) to refer to her in present) is all but outright stated to be Utena’s past self. And, well… the realization that Utena was flat-out suicidal after her parents died makes it very clear _when_ the prince found her. Right there, at her lowest point, curled up in a coffin on a bed of pink roses.

> Utena _(in a tiny voice like she’s been crying)_ : Don’t open it… please, don’t open it.
> 
> Touga: *stares, transfixed*
> 
> Saionji: This is where she was hiding?
> 
> Touga _(kneeling next to the coffin)_ : Everyone’s looking for you.
> 
> Utena: Will you tell anyone that I’m here?
> 
> Touga _(playing with her hair)_ : No, I won’t tell anyone.
> 
> Saionji: Hey…!
> 
> Touga: I’m always an ally to girls. I’m chivalrous, after all.
> 
> Saionji: But why are you hiding here?
> 
> Utena: Because I belong here.
> 
> Saionji: But what do you mean?
> 
> Utena: Because they’re in the coffins next to me. My father and mother died today. But there was an extra coffin here. It must be meant for me. Living on… it’s just making me sick.
> 
> Touga _(staring even more)_ : Is that so?
> 
> Utena: Yes… it’s making me sick… Why does everyone have to go on living if they all have to die someday? Why didn’t I realize it before today? That there’s no such thing as an eternal thing.
> 
> Saionji: An eternal thing…?
> 
> Utena: So, I’ve had enough.
> 
> Touga: *drops her hair*
> 
> Utena: I’ll never come out of this coffin.
> 
> Saionji: But, somebody’ll find you in there!
> 
> Utena: Then I’ll find another coffin to hide in. I don’t want to be with anyone anymore. I’ll never come out into the sunlight again.
> 
> Touga: *gets up and leaves*
> 
> Saionji: Wait! We can’t just let that girl do this crazy thing!
> 
> Touga: Then show her ‘an eternal thing’.

Because after molesting a little girl he found in a coffin, for Touga the obvious solution is to leave her there to rot. What the effing fuck. And *facepalms* of course Saionji goes along with whatever Touga wants. Of fucking course. (…I wonder how much of his misogyny had its roots in misplaced jealousy?) It seems like Saionji was an overall well-meaning kid, if a near-total doormat with Touga, but Touga was already a shit-stirring creep even at that age. And of fucking course Saionji immediately assumes that of course Touga was the one who went back and got the girl out of the coffin, because he doesn’t actually know Touga at all.

Everything about past!Utena’s language in this flashback is really worrying at me. The idea that this is 'where she belongs’, it’s 'her place’; not only is 'her place’ a loaded term for patriarchy-related reasons, not only is a coffin being 'where she belongs’ really worrying for fridge-related reasons - and considering how this series keeps digging at issues like these, I have a feeling fridging as a trope is going to be examined further, further on - but, the way she’s shut herself away from the world, curled up crying in a little ball? Does that sound like the sort of behavior that fairytales reward by calling someone 'strong and noble’?

…well, sometimes. If they’re princesses, and their sum role is to get a man who’ll take care of them. Then being delicate and retiring and timid are reward-worthy traits.

But Utena’s _not_ a princess, right? She’s the prince of the middle school! She has an adoring all-girl fan club, she has guys trying to recruit her for athletic clubs, she never ever cries-

(That. That’s worrying. The fact that one of the things that tip off Wakaba about Utena being not-well in e12 is her _showing emotions that aren’t righteous anger or happiness_ is… she’s internalized a not-all-that-healthy model of masculinity, hasn’t she, for the sake of becoming a prince.)

-Utena’s a prince, right? So the prince on a white horse kissing her tears away, giving her a ring (which she considers an engagement ring) and telling her 'never to lose that strength and nobility’ is… where does acting as a prince leave her, if she’s supposed to be a princess?

(And there it is, that poisonous “supposed to be” - that awful, dreaded, no-really-I-literally-hate-the-entire-range-of-concepts-associated-with-it word:

Normal. _Normal_ , which is a very different word if you’re a boy or if you’re a girl. And that’s just how it is, right? That’s how it’s supposed to be.

Fuck, even typing that makes me want to go hurt things.)

And of course, the shadow girls segment in e9 is… well, frankly it’s disturbing. It starts with Girl A plate-spinning, talking about seeing UFOs, getting torn up about that time in kindergarten when she found out Santa Claus wasn’t real-

> A: But that’s all right. I know now!
> 
> B: Know what?
> 
> A: That wizards, and fairies-
> 
> A+B: -and princes on white horses-
> 
> A: -and kind-hearted-
> 
> A+B: -true friends!
> 
> A: They all only exist in fantasy.
> 
> B: But it’s all right.
> 
> A+B: We know that now!
> 
> *both girls start plate-spinning*
> 
> A: So please, can’t you just leave me UFOs?
> 
> B: This is a little hard.

The screen cuts to the alleyway and the red sky, and offscreen there’s a sound of dishes breaking. Clearly believing in UFOs didn’t work so well for them.

And I’ll be honest, I didn’t realize it was _Touga_ who sent that letter until he literally confesses it; but boy, am I not surprised he’d do something like that.

> Touga: A person who truly believes in friendship is a fool.

Throwing Saionji’s exchange diary in the incinerator wasn’t even a surprise anymore. Their friendship was rotten from the start.

Then there’s the return of the Nanami-and-Touga mess in e10 “Nanami’s Precious Thing”, where Nanami keeps fighting even after she’s lost - and later, in e11, Touga _says_ that she was only ever fighting to lose. Which makes sense, in the context of Nanami wanting an excuse to go cry into Touga’s chest - surely he wouldn’t turn her away after such an awful thing as losing a duel, right?

(I just. I have no fucking words to describe how much I utterly despise Touga and all of his actions and everything he thinks and stands for.)

Slight side note, it’s really clear that Nanami’s respect (among other, far less healthy things) for Touga is 100% one-sided. For crying out loud, I’m pretty sure he called her ‘[omae](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=http%3A%2F%2Ftvtropes.org%2Fpmwiki%2Fpmwiki.php%2FUsefulNotes%2FJapanesePronouns&t=MThkYzFkMmI5MzM5NDM1MTA3MjZhNTMyZGQyMGRkMjUyZjRlNzcxZSxCY1V3ZHhLVQ%3D%3D&b=t%3A9nz1CTF245iQXniZOuIHpA&p=https%3A%2F%2Fbibliomatsuri.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F166955815024%2Fliveblogging-revolutionary-girl-utena-part-1c&m=1)’ in e8 when he was upset at her interfering with (his plans for) Utena and the Rose Bride.

But really, 'Nanami only fought so Touga could kiss her boo-boos after’ is a gross oversimplification. It’s… kind of true-ish if you squint and ignore all the other things that happened, like a lot of the things Touga claims to be true. Nanami isn’t _just_ there to simper after Touga and beg for his attention. Yes, she’s a crude childish jealous bully. She’s kind of a terrible person. She’s also driven (determined) and sneaky (clever) and charismatic in her own right. The Student Council might only tolerate her at this point because she comes along with Touga and they have to tolerate _him_ -

(Why, though? What was the selection process for the duelists in the first place?

…didn’t Nanami’s flashback in e10 also happen on a rainy night?)

-and yeah, we find out in the Black Rose arc that at least one of her minions was using Nanami as an excuse to hang around Touga. But the fact is, throughout the show every interaction Utena has with Touga is a battle and she doesn’t know it. The same pattern holds with Nanami, but… there’s just something completely ridiculous about all the awful pranks she tries to inflict on anyone who 'could take her brother away’. Bugs and garter snakes and octopi are undeniably gross, and someone could’ve been bitten by that snake, but they’re all such unsubtle pranks. There’s no slow build-up of word-poison sapping the will to fight from Utena. When Nanami backstabs Utena, she does it to her face.

And you know, while I’m on the subject of how Nanami is with people - how many people do you think willingly want to be actual friends with someone who’s that socially dangerous? Suck up and use her approval as social capital, absolutely, but how much of an actual emotional connection do you think she’s had (been allowed to have) with anyone who isn’t Touga?

Controlling manipulative fuck. Yeah, codependence takes two, but that doesn’t change the fact that Touga is casually and successfully manipulating Nanami. Please let some of her future chardev be cutting herself loose from him.

No one has only the one motive, and that… that’s Touga’s single biggest blind spot, possibly. He can’t imagine a world where _anyone_ doesn’t consider him the most important thing in it. Not Nanami, not Saionji, not the Rose Bride when they’re engaged, no one - so nothing anyone has to say could actually _matter_.

And that, too, is why Utena (the first time) loses. Because most people generally assume that most people are like them, in terms of what they are and aren’t willing to do. Especially kids, who (hopefully) just haven’t had the life experience of being conned and betrayed deeply enough for it to /really/ leave scars. So Utena assumes that most people want to be good, and don’t want to hurt anyone, and someone like Touga is just completely and utterly alien to her in his casual malice. I’m just going to say it, folks: at this point in her character arc, Utena is gullible as fuck.

And it’s not a bad thing to be trusting, when you know who you can trust; but, Utena looked at Touga and saw the pretty face and princely manners - heard him tell her that 'your prince was a guy like me’ and immediately assumed that meant he was what she considers a prince to be, upright and chivalrous and honorable - watched him get hurt to 'save her’ from Saionji and immediately went 'this. this is something princes do, so he must be a good prince!’

*buries my face in my hands to muffle my furioustrated scream*

So in e11 “Gracefully Cruel - The One Who Picks that Flower”, Touga uses the role of the prince against Utena _doubly_. First in playing that role himself - as he did here, starting not seconds after screwing with Anthy, when Utena had specifically showed up to stop him-

> Touga: You were crying when we met, weren’t you? Crying streams of shining tears.
> 
> Utena: That’s right. I was crying… Was it really you? Were you the one who saved me then?

-winding up Utena because she /wants/ to be the princess to his prince.

Anthy’s body language, muted as she is, is far more telling than her words.

> Utena: But the prince who saved me when I was little… I came to this school to find him. *stares at the rose crest ring* Now the one link I have to the prince forces me to fight him. If only I didn’t have this ring…

She’s a romantic, you know? Utena wants the happy ending, happily ever after, true love’s kiss; or, at least, she really truly feels she does.

And second, in acting out the motions of not wanting to fight her during their duel - look. Look at that, the way she falls at the mere _thought_ of fighting her prince. Cutting off her flower (which _totally_ isn’t a metaphor for taking her metaphorical virginity, on top of the obvious ‘strike to the heart’ imagery) is just salt in the wound, really. The duels are about ideals as much as if not more than skill. How else could Utena have won then against Saionji in the first place, when she’s heavily implied to have never held an actual sword before?

Most people naturally assume that most other people are similar to themselves. Utena is an inherently ~~honest~~ direct and blunt person, and assumes that others are inherently direct as well. Touga is an egomaniac, and assumes that everyone must be just as obsessed with him as he is. And so, each of their fatal flaws are used to bring them down in their turn - what a fairytalish turn of events! How unexpected!

And really? The duels aren’t the _point_. The duels are confrontations, narrative climaxes, but they’re neither the source of the problems (this show is heavily psychological and character-driven, and the plot’s conflicts all come from /people/) nor actual solutions. Utena beating Saionji doesn’t make him stop using the Rose Bride and the coffin girl as benchmarks, and it sure didn’t do anything about his obsession with Touga. Utena defeating Miki didn’t fix whatever the hell is up with him and with his sister. Utena winning the duel with Juri didn’t fix Juri’s problems, with herself or with regards to locket girl. And her duel with Nanami was just… purest bullshit from start to finish.

Let’s just get through Utena’s first duel against Touga. First, a little context from the student council meeting earlier in e11 (bolding mine):

> Touga: That all turned out most unfortunately. I was only trying to treat my dear sister well.
> 
> Miki: Like a pet cat?
> 
> …
> 
> Touga: The fault for Nanami losing the duel lies within Nanami herself. And even if someone does lay a plot, **it’s the victim’s fault** for falling into it.
> 
> Juri: How cold…
> 
> Touga: If one has deep feelings for a person, it’s only a matter of time before those feelings betray them.
> 
> Miki: *gasps*
> 
> Touga: Betray them as strongly as those feelings are strong.

…what. What the fuck? The fuck even? First of all, what a victim-blaming sack of assholes. Second, _what the fuck is wrong with his head_. Where did this come from. WHAT.

What the fuck.

(Considering what this show is like, he probably has some inciting incident that explains part of his deeply-ingrained awfulness. That does _not_ excuse this kind of awful behavior.

Nothing excuses this.)

Before I go off on yet more rage-fueled ranting, I want to share a transcript of a conversation between Anthy and Utena. They’re having tea, on the day of the duel-

> Anthy: I… I wish I had more friends.

That? That line is the _first time_ Anthy says she wants anything for herself, that isn’t just repeating the last thing the victor of the duels told her. 

> Utena: You will. You will! If you’d just open your heart and talk to them, I’m sure anyone would like you.
> 
> Anthy: …open my heart?
> 
> Utena: Sure! You’ll do all right. I’ll help you.
> 
> Anthy _(smiling a not-false smile)_ : Yes.

Forget the pivotal moments and grand gestures; the pain matters, but it shouldn’t be allowed to define you. Life is made of chains and chains of tiny things, homework and housework and just goofing off. Sharing quiet moments with someone who makes you happy just by being there. _  
_

_Wanting to live_. 

The first Touga duel itself makes the most obvious demonstration yet of how the duels are in large part place-markers for more dire things.

It’s the first time Utena’s lost, yes; but she didn’t lose because Touga is better with a sword. She lost the duel itself because Touga reached into her head, pulled out her dreams, and freaking scammed her into _not wanting to fight him_. She’s off-balance from the beginning; before Touga just casually cuts the flower from her breast, she’s stopped resisting.

Again, here is the conflict of her narrative-set role as princess vs. her self-set role as prince: A prince wouldn’t strike an enemy who has laid down their blade. A princess wouldn’t fight her prince. And so Utena is doubly trapped by her own nature, and her romanticism and earnest adherence to chivalric ideals are revealed as a double-edged sword. (Yes, I know the sword metaphors here are heavy-handed. *points at canon*)

But no, the systematic breaking-down of Utena’s sense of self isn’t over just because the duel has been lost and won. No, then he goes and orders Anthy to refute everything Utena has slowly coaxed her into admitting about herself - no, no, she doesn’t want friends. She’s happy being alone. She was only ever following Utena’s commands - when even the thought of _making_ anyone (Anthy most especially) do anything against their will is just completely abhorrent to Utena, so the thought that she’s been doing that?

And Utena _makes it worse_ when she’s breaking down, throwing herself (and Anthy) on Touga’s nonexistent mercy and shouting out all the secret wants Anthy had told her earlier _in confidence_ and giving Touga yet more effective weapons to tear them both down. Sometimes full disclosure isn’t the best policy.

By e11, Anthy has finally started to express wants and wishes. …to Utena. Talking to Touga already went very badly. She wants to learn to make a lunch like Wakaba made - no, Touga laughs, the Rose Bride only needs to stay in her birdcage and tend the roses. (He wants to keep her, to own her - freaking hell, I want to kick his ass off a cliff and directly into a pit of spikes.)

Touga’s victory was never about the duel, it was about picking up his newest toy and breaking her so …so she’ll suffer, obviously. He’s a classic sadist. But I’m wondering why else. Because she kept saying no to him? (Entitlement, rape culture.) Or because she had the Rose Bride? (Who is supposed to be his, in his mind; entitlement again.) Or because she even _wanted_ to not revolve her entire everything around his wants? Like, how dare she be bright and loud and unbroken; girls are supposed to be seen and not heard, doesn’t she know that?

(On the inside, I am currently screaming my goddamn trachea inside-out. Or at least seriously fucking up my vocal cords.)

So the third-worst part of Touga’s whole schtick in the post-duel shitwaddery-

His multilayered misogyny, and the fact that this even happened at all, are vying for first and second place in my mind. Bc I’m not sure which one’s ultimately even worse than the other. They’re just both completely horrible.

-is that there actually was one grain of truth to his whole rant, just one, that he immediately twists into a knife: Making Anthy 'be an ordinary girl again’ was first presented as _Utena’s_ idea, not Anthy’s.

The fact is that Utena has been putting words in Anthy’s mouth - _not_ to hurt her, but out of necessity. Anthy never directly expresses any preferences on her own, and by now Utena has at least some idea of how Anthy’s just… going through the motions of being alive, of being a person, and Utena wants Anthy to have a better life. She wants to help - that’s a good thing! She wants to save Anthy-

-and there’s the problem. There is a tiny and likely entirely-unconscious part of Utena that wants to save Anthy as a prince saves a princess, as an actor saves the acted-upon. As a subject saves an object.

She’s _not_ objectifying Anthy in the sense of thinking of her as less than a person (as I’ve mentioned before, Utena is literally the only person to not do this) but in the sense that _of course_ Utena is the hero, so Anthy is _of course_ one of the people she has to save from whatever is hurting her. She’s not doing it with intent to harm, Utena is overflowing with good intentions, but you don’t need _intent_ to harm others. That’s a very fairytale thing, to judge someone entirely on their actions without context - but in real life, no one ever has all of the context for anyone else’s actions. Everyone who’s ever tried to help anyone else has to learn this lesson eventually, but it’s true: in trying to save someone from their pain, in trying to make things nicer and easier and better for them, you can accidentally hurt them further.

And as far as Utena can see, it’s the duel system that’s hurting Anthy (she can’t get Anthy out of that yet; doesn’t even know where to start, yet) and enabling other people to hurt her (Utena is going to get her safely away from that asshole Touga or _die in the trying_ ) and… and what else? What else? Utena doesn’t _know_ how Anthy got into this situation in the first place. There’s no target to fight, yet. So fine, she can’t fight for Anthy’s freedom from the duels (she can’t change the rule that the Rose Bride must obey their victor) but - but Anthy was happier with her, she knows it! Anthy just wants to be an ordinary girl, a normal girl with normal problems away from all this duel nonsense-

(Utena dear, you may be projecting a bit?)

-and the thing is, Anthy genuinely does want to be with Utena, but only we-the-audience can see it for sure. The audience can see her imagining Utena in the empty space across the table at the top of the tower. The characters are left with only the emotional cues which she allows herself to show, which are… few. For good reason, if all of the previous victors have been like Touga or Saionji (or even Juri or Miki) and just treated her like a person-shaped thing. Whoever she is beyond the Rose Bride persona, part of the purpose of that persona is to protect herself from emotional harm. It’s a coping mechanism - just, really really really not a healthy one.

And Utena _notices_. Utena wants to know the Anthy who is _Anthy_ , not just the Rose Bride. Utena wants Anthy to be happy and okay …but is being more ordinary really going to help Anthy? It sure doesn’t help Utena one bit.

…it’s a little terrifying to me that even when she fights for her literal self, her impetus comes from someone else. It was Utena who Anthy wished to see; it was Anthy who Utena saw, who came to mind at her moment of resolution.

And after all that, after the onslaught of rapey coercive bullshit that was Touga fucking with Utena and Anthy purely because he damn well felt like it and he knew that neither of them would (could?) stop him - after all that, e11 and e12

_also_

feature the girls helping each other. In often-clumsy, sometimes incidental, occasionally flat-out vindictive ways (Juri wanted Touga to lose and be proven wrong more than she wanted Utena to win, really) these young women give each other what they need to kick the patriarchy’s model student in the metaphorical and literal soft parts. Fucking yes.

And that’s a big part of how Utena is brought back to herself. 

It starts in e12 with Wakaba yelling at her, badgering her into confronting her assumption that one _misstep_ makes her any less of herself.

Wakaba doesn’t save Utena; she can’t. She can and does _care_. She goes looking for Utena when she doesn’t show up to class, checks her over for sickness, asks after Anthy… gets genuinely upset by Utena’s non-reaction to Anthy being gone. Wakaba can be a little (a lot) scatterbrained and head-in-the-clouds about day-to-day things, but she’s paying very close attention to Utena’s feelings. When Wakaba says 'Utena-sama’ and casually joke-flirts, there’s the expectation that 'yes of course I’m joking’ - but her feelings for Utena aren’t. Utena is her friend, and Wakaba wants to her friend to be _okay_. She wants to help. She just… isn’t sure how? (They’re thirteen, they’re _supposed_ to be figuring these things out.) So Wakaba offers to fix Utena’s snazzy boyish uniform, and Utena blows her off. …Wakaba does not have the context to deal with this.

A quick aside on Utena refusing Wakaba’s offer to fix her uniform: On the one hand, there’s Touga’s bullshit about how she should take the opportunity to be a “normal girl” (*retch*) and on the other, there’s the fact that Anthy’s been politely taking over their housework ever since she moved in. Wakaba offering to fix the seams would have driven the knife in about the Anthy-shaped hole in the room. Ow.

…Utena’s fanclub. Utena’s flippin’ fan club. The romantic lighting, the pink roses spinning around the frame, the overture BGM and the sound of sparkles - ah, so beautiful! So perfect! So… a ha ha, look at her face. 

She’s completely dead inside. And her fans are fucking cheering. 

This is the bit that started to make me think about it: we know that Anthy is lonely as hell, but what about Utena? She’s surrounded by people who look up to her, who admire her, who put her on a pedestal- wait. That’s _bad_ , that’s not good. It’s looking very likely that before Utena gets caught up in the duels, the _only_ person to actually know anything about Utena was Wakaba - and from the looks of it, most of what Wakaba knows is Utena’s brave face.

We see in e1 “The Rose Bride” that they are really, truly, honestly friends - and not just in the overwrought drama-ridden anime-typical way, but in the sense that they’re school friends. They hang out at school, they eat lunch together because they like to, they tell each other semi-random shit because they want to - they try to make each other feel better when things go fuckways, because that’s part of what friends are for.

I know that the “Perhaps” in the title of e12 is there for a reason, and I can guess what it’s referring to (Utena not yet realizing / admitting to herself she’s feeling increasingly gay for Anthy) but if not for Wakaba’s friendship and support, this episode wouldn’t have happened. Heck, the first episode couldn’t have happened as it did; the original reason Utena challenged Saionji was because she didn’t know how to help Wakaba, so she defaulted to the grand princely gesture and challenged the cause of her friend’s pain to a duel. …I know, I know, I’m conjecture-ing. I do that. 

Friendship isn’t _just_ anything, it’s the heart of all human connection. I do wonder, though, how two such very different people as Utena and Wakaba made friends to begin with? It could easily have been something ordinary, just spending more time together as their friendship grew naturally. That doesn’t seem to fit the show, though… but if Wakaba is a thematic foil for Utena, /then/ it might. Not a foil as in a rival-type character, but in the sense that their characters are designed to play off each other in ways that reveal more about them as they interact onscreen.

(…this can apply to literally all characters in any given fictional work. Maybe that’s too broad a definition.)

Utena is a Protagonist, and it shows - blue eyes, pink hair, custom uniform, plot-relevant MacGuffin on her finger… while Wakaba seems to be, well, “normal”. Normal brown hair and eyes, a normal sensible hairstyle, the normal girls’ uniform. She’s a little (a lot) excitable, and loud, and kind of a dreamer (a trait which she very much shares with Utena, though they express it in different ways) but if you had to pick her out of a crowd scene it would take a bit of effort. It’s her /personality/ that makes her in any way (in the ways that anyone can be) a standout. But for this episode, I think… I think that part of Wakaba’s purpose in e12, and in general, is to be a sympathetic “normal”-ish character. She likes boys and writes (wrote) love letters and made Utena a cutesy bento, and the bento is mostly instant because she’s a young teenager and not all that experienced as a cook. She’s just… kind of there? And that’s /not/ portrayed as a bad thing.

Wakaba is not made to feel like she shouldn’t get to be Utena’s friend just because she’s an at-a-glance “normal” girl who isn’t in on all the campus craziness, who doesn’t have a Destiny picked out for her. She’s a supporting character, and that’s no reason to short her on characterization. That’s no reason she shouldn’t be treated as the hero of her own story. Everyone is a side-story to somebody, but that somebody shouldn’t be yourself.

…that said, Wakaba does seem pretty darn happy with being the actual!friend and just-joking!love-interest for the campus prince. (A ha ha… ykw, I’m just going to leave a link to the [“Class S genre” wiki article](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Fen.wikipedia.org%2Fwiki%2FClass_S_%28genre%29&t=YjgwNjQzMTU2YTQ4NDVlNmYyODEzMDYyNWU4ZDU5ZjViODYyYzU0NCxCY1V3ZHhLVQ%3D%3D&b=t%3A9nz1CTF245iQXniZOuIHpA&p=https%3A%2F%2Fbibliomatsuri.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F166955815024%2Fliveblogging-revolutionary-girl-utena-part-1c&m=1) here.) And that’s fine too. Not everyone _wants_ to be other people’s hero all the time. It’s got to be exhausting. And whether or not Wakaba wants to be a hero clearly doesn’t matter in the face of Utena _needing_ her - needing _anyone_ to affirm that yes, she _can_ be herself, that her usual self is an okay person to be. They’re thirteen! Nobody knows all of who they are at that age, but Utena is /trying/ and Wakaba is trying too. Wakaba can’t _make_ Utena feel better, but she can still try her best to help. You don’t need princeliness to be someone’s hero-of-the-hour.

I think I’ve figured out why I got so stuck on overanalyzing their frienship. It’s not perfect, no - they’re not perfect, and no relationship is perfect - but they actually work. They’re generally good for each other. Utena and Wakaba’s friendship is actually pretty much healthy. …and jfc, this show, that that’s something that stands out so strongly.

*strangled noise* Yet more Touga fuckery. Anthy asking if he wouldn’t mind excusing her is clearly asking to please be left alone; Touga saying ‘no, there’s no need for you to leave, since _I_ don’t want you to leave’ is… it’s a 'ha ha you think I’ll let you out of my sight on your terms? sucker’ and a direct overwriting of her wants and selfhood. So, Touga-typical misogynistic fuckhattery. Someone kick his ass.

(Juri sticking her nose in her book is probably because she can’t see any way to knock him off his high horse atm, and she’s not that invested in this conflict beyond that. Miki desparingly putting his hands over his ears is #mood.)

And here we have the emotionally pivotal scenes of this episode.

Language side note, part 1: Japanese is a [pro-drop language](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Fen.wikipedia.org%2Fwiki%2FPro-drop_language&t=Y2I4OGI0ZDNkMzFmZGMzNzY5OGQ0MjdiMGQ0MjJmNzQ4Njc3NTAyNixCY1V3ZHhLVQ%3D%3D&b=t%3A9nz1CTF245iQXniZOuIHpA&p=https%3A%2F%2Fbibliomatsuri.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F166955815024%2Fliveblogging-revolutionary-girl-utena-part-1c&m=1); which, in this case, is fancy talk for “speakers generally don’t use a lot of pronouns when talking to each other, for linguistic and social reasons I’m not informed on enough to explain properly so I’m just linking a wiki article instead.”

Language side note, part 2: [Japanese honorifics](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=http%3A%2F%2Ftvtropes.org%2Fpmwiki%2Fpmwiki.php%2FUsefulNotes%2FJapaneseHonorifics&t=MjkyNjIyNTEyMzhkZGJjNzAwZDkxZDIzOWY5ZDY1MGU0OGU0N2NlMCxCY1V3ZHhLVQ%3D%3D&b=t%3A9nz1CTF245iQXniZOuIHpA&p=https%3A%2F%2Fbibliomatsuri.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F166955815024%2Fliveblogging-revolutionary-girl-utena-part-1c&m=1). tl;dr: first-name basis without honorifics is _very_ familiar. Using it with someone you’re not actually close to is rude and insulting. OTOH, dropping all honorifics can be a sign of closeness. Usually, Wakaba uses “-sama” for Utena - but, as mentioned in e1 and earlier in this post, she’s mostly if not entirely joking. She does admire Utena, but not the way the fan club does. …but throughout this episode (in sorta-private?) Wakaba just calls Utena “Utena”. And Utena is actually okay with that - though, considering how out of it she is, it’s debatable how much of that is being okay vs being numb.

> Wakaba: Okay, if you don’t want to say anything, then you don’t have to say anything. But, even you must see that there’s something wrong with you!
> 
> Utena: *doesn’t react in any way*
> 
> Wakaba _(fuming)_ : Just ignoring me isn’t normal! It’s not like you!

So, when she says that last line, Wakaba literally says “Just ignoring me isn’t normal! It’s not like Utena!” - which, ykw, it really isn’t. It isn’t like Utena at all.

And then, of course, Wakaba dramatically flounces and rants and starts hitting conversational buttons in an effort to get something resembling a normal-for-Utena reaction out of her. It took a few minutes on account of her not being a freakin’ mind-reader, but throughout the day she’s been seriously worried about Utena not acting like herself at all. Yeah, demureness and politeness and passivity are supposedly “normal” for girls-

(On that note, Wakaba isn’t _any_ of those things, ha ha.)

-but they’re not normal for Utena! They’re just as glaring signs that she’s not okay as if she’d been running a high fever.

And it’s entirely likely that Wakaba would’ve just kept on futilely trying to get a reaction and everything would have blown up (on her end) and fizzled out (on Utena’s end) and just… stalled.

Except, of course, damn Touga pops up. With the Bride at his shoulder.

> Touga: That uniform really suits you.

In a moment of consistent OOC-ness, Utena doesn’t even try to resist. Not even passively. She doesn’t even try to pull away.

At this, Wakaba is just… utterly shocked. Who is this guy? (Metaphorically speaking. She knows his reputation.) And who does he think he is? Who does he think he’s talking to? /No one/ treats Utena like this. She’s the prince of the middle school! This makes no sense! Wakaba is bluescreening.

And then Touga starts pulling the more *seethes* physical part of his Nice Guy routine, playing with Utena’s body like she’s a doll. (I want to reach in through the screen and strangle him.)

And /here/, for a second, Wakaba just straight-up yells

> Don’t touch my Utena-sama!

(It’s kinda telling that when she’s too upset to be polite, she says “Utena-sama” like the fanclub does.)

And Wakaba’s not Utena, she’s not going to challenge him to a physical fight - but she’ll totally throw her drink at his creepy face. *Touga gets up so she hits Anthy instead* …wait, fuck, that was not what she was going for!

…well, it was Anthy’s fault for not dodging, then! *facepalms* Well, that’s what Wakaba _says_ , anyway. It’s an idle comment to her, just a chiding 'pay more attention!’ on top of her own irritation; but, even if she didn’t /mean/ to stab Anthy directly in a major emotional weak point, that doesn’t undo what she just did. Damn it.

Bluntness isn’t inherently a bad thing, but reactivity and a refusal to admit culpability are definitely character flaws. And using your words to hurt people just because you can, because you want to hurt someone and they’re a viable target, is _never_ okay. It’s worth noting that Wakaba is actually sorry she slapped Utena, but she only apologizes briefly and insincerely to Anthy.

(And _of course_ that dick took advantage of Wakaba’s flip-out so that Anthy got soaked instead of him- I. Fuck. I just realized, was that a deliberate call-back Nanami’s prank in s1 e3 “On the Night At the Ball”? Anthy’s dress getting soaked and _dissolving_. There’s no way Touga’s forgotten that, he’s a steel trap for other people’s suffering.

And now he’s rubbing it in that there’s no more Utena to save her. That Utena is right there, and she won’t be throwing off her princess-dress to dance with Anthy this time, not now and not ever. I just. I’m so mad, I’m making typos left and right rn. *strangles air*)

Wakaba: Utena’s this way because you had a fight with her, right?!

Oh, and that. That explains Wakaba blowing up at Anthy /specifically/; she’s auto-blaming Anthy, because she can’t blame Utena (doesn’t want to) and she doesn’t know yet that Touga orchestrated this whole mess. Anthy sure makes a convenient target, eh?

And /this/ is what gets a reaction. This is what wakes her up. Utena cannot stand by and watch Anthy get hurt for Utena’s (perceived) failings.

(…when it’s another girl doing the hurting. It’s fine if a guy does it, that’s /normal/. Fucking. Fuck the patriarchy, seriously.)

And Utena slapping Wakaba _was_ painful, but… well, Wakaba isn’t even really mad. She’s _satisfied_ , and says exactly why! She started yelling at Utena to get a reaction, and she finally got one. As far as she’s concerned, this was at least a little win.

_Now_ Wakaba is glaring actual serious-intent-to-harm, if not murder, at Touga.

> Touga: Next time, the two of us should talk alone.

(Wakaba, internally: Over a dead body, you dick. Preferably yours.)

…even playing the “normal girl”, Utena has to try to help Anthy. Even if all she can do to help is lend her a handkerchief to wipe up the water with. Even when brought low, she has to try to make things _right_ somehow-

There’s this sort of philosophy among writers (not all writers, but I’ve seen it around) that in order to know who your characters are, you have to crack them open. Well, if you crack Utena open you get… Utena, cracked open, letting other people decide things for her

and  
she  
 _still_  
wants to help Anthy. Always always always. I just. She doesn’t react like this for _anyone_ else - not Wakaba who she’s been friends with for some time, not Touga who she was infatuated with - no one. Just for her, for Anthy, for Anthy who wants to be with Utena; but how can Utena trust in Anthy’s words, when the Rose Bride is bound to obey the victor?

Quick aside on the subject of dropping honorifics _disrespectfully_ : fuck you, Touga. Around people, he calls her the Bride (which is dehumanizing already, tyvm) but when it’s just them and whoever he just promised a booty call, he calls her “Anthy”. He just never passes up a chance to twist in the knife about how much power he has over her, and there’s no way she missed that blatant subtext.

…wow. This show and its attention to detail. I think that Utena meeting up with Wakaba after their two-slap fight is the first time the camera pans up from Utena’s _feet_ rather than starting with her skirt area (as in the fanclub scene I complain about above). And no, her feet aren’t important; her shoes are. They’re the same blue-and-white shoes and red socks she’s been wearing with her boyish uniform.

Now, Utena has a set of the normal uniform; maybe she doesn’t have the usual plain shoes, but white socks can’t be that rare. Out-of-universe, this has to be a deliberate artistic decision, to keep a little of Utena’s normal character (design) even when she’s so out-of-character (design) in the otherwise-standard girls’ uniform. In-universe? Maybe she spaced out, maybe she just forgot and put her usual footwear on autopilot, or maybe she was still subconsciously trying _not_ to fit that society- and Touga-prescibed “normal.”

And now she gets it.

> Wakaba: It was the student council president, wasn’t it? It’s his fault you’re feeling so down. It’s his fault, isn’t it? I understand… No, the truth is I don’t understand anything. Like why are you wearing that uniform?
> 
> Utena: But this is normal, isn’t it?
> 
> Wakaba: No, it isn’t! Not being normal is normal for you! This sort of normal isn’t YOUR sort of normal! …oh, that makes no sense!

…hm. I think part of why Utena and Wakaba’s frienship works is that Wakaba is so consistently /expressive/. She always shows and says exactly what and how she’s feeling, all the time. Considering how dense Utena can be, that’s got to be a bit of a lifesaver.

And that? That line, where Wakaba brings up the direct conflict of Utena’s normal vs. “ima no futtsu” - literally, “the normal of now”-

> Utena _(thinking)_ : My sort of normal… This sort of normal…

-that’s what gets Utena thinking about what’s normal in her life, and what’s missing right now. First of all she thinks of her uniform, but as inevitably as a clock ticking onwards, Utena’s mind turns to the absence of Himemiya Anthy.

> Wakaba: You’re holding it in again! I hate seeing what you’ve become! It’s like something was stolen from you and made you a coward! I don’t know what it is… but if you can get it back, then get it! Take it back!

Not the Rose Bride, not the duels and all their ridiculous drama, but just… Himemiya already cleaning their room when Utena first moves in; dancing with Himemiya at the ball; Himemiya smiling.

She’s missing.

…and then Utena flashes back to Touga 'stealing’ Anthy, and that’s. That’s worrying again. Because she’s not treating Anthy like a 'shining thing’ like Miki did, or like a stepping stone to 'that eternal thing’ like Saionji did, but… Anthy’s presence in Utena’s life being precious isn’t a bad thing. Utena thinking of Anthy as a cornerstone of her identity would be… bad, but I really don’t think that’s what’s happening here.

On the surface, Utena is fighting for her “self” to regain her own self-image as the 'cool prince’ who fights for others and will not let injustice stand. For her self who is _not_ a traditionally feminine girl, who is _dead inside_ just playing the role, who raises her voice and talks over men when they speak and acts like a boy.

Wishing to be oneself, the desire to be yourself, is a want. …it’s okay to want things. It’s okay to want to become yourself.

It’s also okay for your self to be other than who society dictates that you should be.

Still, though. She’s about to fight Touga, to reclaim her “self” ~~from Touga~~. That’s not bad. That’s a symbolic and literal victory over the one who hurt her. …I guess the distinction here is, is Utena fighting over Anthy or _for_ her? For Himemiya, for what Himemiya is coming to mean to Utena: for friendship, perhaps-

(…as mentioned in my [first entry](https://bibliomatsuri.tumblr.com/post/166645245269/notes-from-the-utena-rewatch-part-1a-part-1a), I was a massively sheltered and repressed teenager the first time I was watching this series. I went in completely blind. I’d seen a trailer for it once, and I happened to find a dub version available for 'free’ on-demand, and that was it.

Even then, the Touga episodes kinda cracked me open a little, because this, _this_ \- the girl who is not a girl, who deliberately resists acknowledging the differences between 'how girls are supposed to act’ and who she is, who is visibly _less herself_ for being 'more girly’ - for me at that age, this was _vindication_ , a blaring and long-past-due FUCK YOU to the idea that the 'grow up and get married and live happily ever after’ story for girls was in any way shape or form _right_. This was a story where the heroine starts acting feminine in response to a trauma, and redeems her _self_ when she stops trying to act like what 'normal girls’ are supposed to be.

Heh. On rewatch, that never is outright stated in the episode. Wakaba talks about “normal” and Utena’s “normal” not being “ima no futtsu” - literally “the normal of now” - and that that’s _okay_ , it’s okay for someone’s normal to not be society’s normal; and I honestly didn’t know how badly I needed to hear that _in this context_ until years later. Because yes, social norms are there in part to be rebelled against, but in context? The message is that a girl is a whole and valid person, regardless of how close or how far she is from the traditionally feminine ideal.

No wonder how whenever someone asks Utena why she dresses in boys’ clothing, she deflects. I hadn’t been ready to think that through, either.)

And it really is beautiful, how as soon as Utena snaps out of that reverie you can see and hear the difference - the renewed confidence in her body language, in how she pitches her voice. Utena’s back. Utena is _back_ , and at this point the duel is in large part a formality. Yes, there’s the very real chance she’ll lose - but this is a fairytale, isn’t it? The bad guy shouldn’t get to win, not for keeps. She’s going to do this. She’s going to get Himemiya, get her own self-ness, back!

And now Utena is mostly back to her princely self, and her …jokingly, right? Jokingly-gay attitude with Wakaba.

(I doubt she means it that way, and I really doubt Wakaba is consciously taking it that way… but there has to be a contingent of the fan club that ships Utena/Wakaba. Wakaba thinks it’s a hoot and is encouraging them on purpose. Drama queen child.)

> Utena: You’re right, Wakaba. This _(Utena plucks at the uniform skirt)_ isn’t normal for me.
> 
> *takes Wakaba by the shoulders* *leans in to gently kiss her on the forehead*
> 
> Utena: I’m going to take back who I was. *strides away*
> 
> Wakaba: *watches Utena go, touching her forehead blushingly*

…uh, scratch that last bit. Wakaba is a little bit crushing on Utena, then.

And then Utena strides confidently into the -birdcage- rose garden and challenges Touga to a rematch. Without a sword. Utena, just how were you planning on fighting him without one?

*snickers* Wow. Wow. Her body language and just… everything about her is completely different, compared to how she was just a half-hour ago. And Touga has genuinely _no idea_ she’s not there to ask him out. What an unobservant egomaniacal entitled fuckwad. Kick his ass, little prince.

… _Anthy_ is just as shocked. She really does expect her hopes to be completely impossible. Fucking hell.

And the shadow girls segment from this episode is pure gold:

> A: Do you know? Do you know? Have you heard the news?
> 
> B: Study normal subjects, find a normal job. Fall in love normally, get married normally. Have a normal family, and have a normal life. But being normal has nothing to do with us!
> 
> A: We’re tired of doing all the things we’ve done 'til now.
> 
> A+B: Time for us to go back to being what’s normal for us.
> 
> *they sail off in a UFO*
> 
> A+B: Do you know? Do you know? Do you know what that is?

Because surrealism. Also, because fuck society’s unrealistic and confining standards of femininity.

(This is the first time any part of a shadow-girls skit has left the wall. The UFO briefly shows up in the sky. Fourth wall? Oh, you think the fourth wall can keep you safe? Silly.)

And here we find out that Juri has been keeping an eye on things, at least closely enough to know that Utena challenged Touga. …and that no, Utena did not plan ahead and procure a sword elsewhere.

> Juri: Use this. You’ll need it to properly set the last scene.

Touga can scheme and plot, but Juri can be sneaky and opportunistic just as well. And if Utena beats him with her borrowed sword, then it’s almost like she beat Touga by proxy. Win-win, provided Utena wins - and if she doesn’t, then Juri’s not really /worse/ off - and also, Utena is /not/ allowed to lose to that fucker again.

idc if Touga doesn’t want to lose. Kick his ass.

Utena looks away when Touga makes Anthy kiss the tip of his sword. Read that again; take a second. …yeah, that was my reaction too.

He’s not even- I can’t even tell which part is incidental for him: the power-up, or Utena and Anthy suffering due to his actions. Or maybe everything is incidental, and he’s just flat-out chaotic-evil doing everything because he feels like it right now. Because he’s entirely sure he’s already won. Did I mention /kick his ass/.

Anthy, as I’ve mentioned before, just can’t believe that Utena will be able to defeat Touga. But why? Is it the power-up, the 'power of the Rose Bride of Dios’? Or is it just some unwritten rule of the duels that a loser isn’t allowed to win again, because that sounds like the kind of fuckery that might be going on in the background here.

Or is it, again, that Anthy just can’t believe in getting any real lasting happiness for herself?

*eyetwitch* Touga is clearly toying with Utena now. He’s not even fighting, he’s batting her around with the glowy pink sword like a cat swatting at a little bird. *seethes again*

…and of course the powered-up fairytale sword can break normal swords! Breaking one phallic symbol with another phallic symbol, totally not suspicious. Why are there so many metaphorical dicks in Ohtori?

[And [cue music](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Fyoutu.be%2FklwvMmgIS_I%3Ft%3D18m46s&t=YzNlNmRlOTdlZmU4M2E5YTdlZWQ1ZDEwZmY2YmM1ZGMzNzEyMzI4YyxCY1V3ZHhLVQ%3D%3D&b=t%3A9nz1CTF245iQXniZOuIHpA&p=https%3A%2F%2Fbibliomatsuri.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F166955815024%2Fliveblogging-revolutionary-girl-utena-part-1c&m=1).]

Touga cutting Utena’s clothes up is absolutely not a metaphor for sexualharrassment and molestation. And I mean that sincerely, because it’s really not a metaphor.

Touga: Do you understand? This sword’s power?! This is the power hidden within the Rose Bride! You fancied yourself her prince without even knowing about it?! You don’t understand.

> Utena: That doesn’t matter!
> 
> Anthy _(thinking)_ : There’s something strange about Tenjou-san. She could die. Why does she fight on?
> 
> Utena: Maybe I don’t know anything about Himemiya! But what I’m doing now is taking back what I used to be!
> 
> Touga: Pathetic.

And as this happens, as Touga starts to cut through what’s left of Utena’s borrowed sword, literally looking down on her - she could literally die -

On yet another side note, there’s a reason I’ve been quoting so much from this episode (beyond just… really liking Utena and Wakaba’s interactions here). And that reason is “Nanibito mo Kataru Koto Nashi” - “No One Has Anything To Say.” The whole time, the song acts as a counterpoint to the duel itself. The lyrics are all metaphor-y, but I’m pretty sure the metaphor is about how fleeting life can be, and-

And right at the worst part of the duel, at Utena’s lowest point, right before the reversal of fortune… here are the most optimistic lines in the song:

“Nanibito mo naru koto ari. / Nanigoto mo naru koto ari.”  
“There’s the possibility to be anyone. / There’s the possibility to be anything.”  
[alternately](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.animethemesongs.com%2Findex.php%2Frevolutionary-girl-utena%2Fnanibito-mo-kataru-koto-nashi&t=MDczZjA2M2MxN2VmMDY0Yzk1MGYyZjUwYzBiODkxODcwYTA1MTMwYixCY1V3ZHhLVQ%3D%3D&b=t%3A9nz1CTF245iQXniZOuIHpA&p=https%3A%2F%2Fbibliomatsuri.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F166955815024%2Fliveblogging-revolutionary-girl-utena-part-1c&m=1), and even more optimistically,  
“I can become anyone. / I can become anything.”

In the that one scene in e9, past!Utena poses a question: 

Everyone is inevitably going to die, so why bother living? People can’t stay forever, so why bother connecting with people? People aren’t eternal, so what are people even worth?

Themselves. People are worth themselves, is the answer I found between the lines here. The point of connecting with people - of being friends, of loving someone - is to do so! The point of living is to live on! It’s okay if something isn’t perfect, if nothing is eternal - life is right now, this moment, right here. And even when it’s the hardest thing in the world to do, you can get up and find your own sunlight. Just _live_.

(I’m wandering off-topic a bit, but I wanted to share a bit of [this speech](https://bibliomatsuri.tumblr.com/post/166916810144/philosophy-to-have-done-with-the-massacre-of) I just found out about. If you want, you can go read the full text [here](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Fthefunambulist.net%2Fphilosophy%2Fphilosophy-to-have-done-with-the-massacre-of-the-body-by-felix-guattari&t=NDA0ZjFiYmQ1ZWUxYjc1MTg5MTFhMGY0NDZjOTI3ZTI3MjA0OTE1MCxCY1V3ZHhLVQ%3D%3D&b=t%3A9nz1CTF245iQXniZOuIHpA&p=https%3A%2F%2Fbibliomatsuri.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F166955815024%2Fliveblogging-revolutionary-girl-utena-part-1c&m=1). It’s pretty wild. 

Yeah, I know the below quote makes less sense out-of-context…

> We are quite aware that the liberation of the body and the freeing of sensual, sexual, affective, and ecstatic feelings are indissolubly linked to the liberation of women and the abolition of every kind of sexual categorization. 
> 
> Revolutionizing desire means destroying male power and rejecting all its modes of behavior and its ideas about couples; revolutionizing desire means destroying all forms of oppression and all models of normality.
> 
> We want to put an end once and for all to the roles of identities instituted by the Phallus.

Ha! Yes.)

(And while I’m on the subject, [fight the kyriarchy](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Feverydayfeminism.com%2F2014%2F04%2Fkyriarchy-101%2F&t=NTM3YWIwZDZhM2Y1OTdlOWU1YjRjN2E3MjJmYzVjMjAzZTAxYjNiYixCY1V3ZHhLVQ%3D%3D&b=t%3A9nz1CTF245iQXniZOuIHpA&p=https%3A%2F%2Fbibliomatsuri.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F166955815024%2Fliveblogging-revolutionary-girl-utena-part-1c&m=1).)

-wait a second! Autonomy! That’s the word I’ve been looking for: autonomy, the capacity to act of one’s own will - and the necessary prerequisites, like knowing yourself and _not being coerced_ to act otherwise. That’s what this arc is about.

The battle is to know oneself and be free to act on what you’ve chosen to do, for yourself and for the sake of whatever drives you - wishes and dreams, fears and ideals, needs of the body and mind. The people you love; and the people who know the real you, and still would choose to stay with you-

That’s what Utena is fighting for. That’s why lines about Utena’s “self” are interposed with images of Anthy. She’s already regained her prince persona, is taking her nonstandard gender presentation (and identity) back. …but she still has to actually duel Touga. Now Utena has to take back _time with Himemiya_ , so they can keep being together - even for the possibility of who they might become together - she has to win!

(On a probably-entirely-unrelated note: I’m sure it’s a coincidence that _right_ as the 'power of the Rose Bride of Dios’ suddenly stops working for Touga that Anthy, staring at their confrontation, is suddenly reminded of “that time with Dios” . …that’s a coincidence, right? Coincidences are totally things that can happen according to fairytale logic.)

And as further support for my hypothesis that the duels themselves are primarily stand-ins for the actual conflicts between characters - as in s1 e10, the music doesn’t end when Utena defeats her opponent. For Utena, winning the duel was never the point. And that’s how he loses, and that’s why she wins. (For now.) She _was_ fighting Touga; but, more than that, she was fighting for her “self.” 

Utena was fighting Himemiya’s absence from her life. It’s only after (parallel to and subverting the end of the first episode) Utena meets Anthy again-

> Anthy: I’ve been waiting for you, Utena-sama. I am the Rose Bride. From this day forward, I-
> 
> Utena: Himemiya, never mind that. Come on, let’s just go home.

-that the duel chorus comes to a stop. “A flash and then it fades,” huh?

Well. I guess I’ll have more commentary when I get to the Black Rose saga.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 30 October 2017 #revolutionary girl utena #character analysis #series analysis #quotes #meta #tenjou utena #himemiya anthy #saionji kyouichi #kiryuu nanami #kiryuu touga #arisugawa juri #kaoru miki #sexism #feminism #gender roles #the patriarchy #compulsory heterosexuality #canon-typical tws #matsuri reacts #discussion of: #emotional abuse #tw abuse #misogyny #ok wait #internalized sexism #trivia #headcanon


	6. A Codetta

Liveblogging _Revolutionary Girl Utena_ , part 1.5:

## A Codetta

This is a ramblepost written in response to episode 13 of RGU. Since sources disagree on whether e13 “[Tracing a Path](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DGWVYoaNeFX4&t=Mzk0OWQzMDdmZDA1OWY1MzEyODQ5MGJmODY3ZTQxMGFjODM5NTFhNyw2NjdGQkpudA%3D%3D&b=t%3A9nz1CTF245iQXniZOuIHpA&p=https%3A%2F%2Fbibliomatsuri.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F170742564904%2Fliveblogging-revolutionary-girl-utena-part-15-a&m=1)” is the [first](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fshow%2Frevolutionarygirlutena&t=NjA1ZjMwZmY4N2YzOTdmYTE1ZmZkYzY3MWZiOTg3NmQ1M2ZkMWVmYiw2NjdGQkpudA%3D%3D&b=t%3A9nz1CTF245iQXniZOuIHpA&p=https%3A%2F%2Fbibliomatsuri.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F170742564904%2Fliveblogging-revolutionary-girl-utena-part-15-a&m=1) episode of season 2, or [the](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Fen.wikipedia.org%2Fwiki%2FList_of_Revolutionary_Girl_Utena_episodes&t=ZmYxZWU4YmM4OGM2MTNlM2E0Y2QzNDRmNGI1MDhlNTZhZDhmYjk4Ziw2NjdGQkpudA%3D%3D&b=t%3A9nz1CTF245iQXniZOuIHpA&p=https%3A%2F%2Fbibliomatsuri.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F170742564904%2Fliveblogging-revolutionary-girl-utena-part-15-a&m=1) [last](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.ohtori.nu%2Fscripts%2F&t=MmE3YWQ0NGNiMTA3ZGUwMzA0ZjBiMzQ1ZTVlNzNiYzUyODZmY2M3OSw2NjdGQkpudA%3D%3D&b=t%3A9nz1CTF245iQXniZOuIHpA&p=https%3A%2F%2Fbibliomatsuri.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F170742564904%2Fliveblogging-revolutionary-girl-utena-part-15-a&m=1) [episode](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=http%3A%2F%2Fmanga.wikia.com%2Fwiki%2FList_of_Revolutionary_Girl_Utena_episodes&t=NzZiZmFkYmFiNTNjYTgzYzZjNGI5MmI3NGY2YWU4OGU3ODcwZmZiMCw2NjdGQkpudA%3D%3D&b=t%3A9nz1CTF245iQXniZOuIHpA&p=https%3A%2F%2Fbibliomatsuri.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F170742564904%2Fliveblogging-revolutionary-girl-utena-part-15-a&m=1) of the first season, I’m tweaking the usual numbering pattern for this one.

[[part 1a](https://bibliomatsuri.tumblr.com/post/166645245269/notes-from-the-utena-rewatch-part-1a-part-1a); [part 1b](https://bibliomatsuri.tumblr.com/post/166651880479/utena-rewatch-notes-part-1b-part-1a-part-1b); [part 1c](https://bibliomatsuri.tumblr.com/post/166955815024/liveblogging-revolutionary-girl-utena-part-1c);] 

I also found these really cool fanmade [transcripts](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.ohtori.nu%2Fscripts%2F&t=MmE3YWQ0NGNiMTA3ZGUwMzA0ZjBiMzQ1ZTVlNzNiYzUyODZmY2M3OSw2NjdGQkpudA%3D%3D&b=t%3A9nz1CTF245iQXniZOuIHpA&p=https%3A%2F%2Fbibliomatsuri.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F170742564904%2Fliveblogging-revolutionary-girl-utena-part-15-a&m=1) of all the episodes, which I’ll be consulting for reminders of exact plot points / an alternate translation from now on. (I’ll also try to put in which translation I’m using for what quote.)

No spoilers past the Student Council Arc in the post itself. (…plot-relevant name spoilers in the tags, sorry.)

No new warnings so far. As the post title suggests, this is large part a recap episode. …well, warnings for canon-typical sexism and me-typical swearing, but those aren’t _new_.

This is… it’s partly a clip-show episode, yeah. Two big things that set it apart, though:

A) The framing device.

  * The ep starts with the Shadow Girls, following on from the UFO skits from the s1 ending arc. …this is odd, considering normally the Shadow Girls’ appearance is a direct warning. Duel Start.  
  
One of the Shadow Girls makes a quip about ‘might makes right, yeah? yeah!’, which I’m taking as tentatively further support for my 'the duels are symbolic and don’t actually solve everything’ hypothesis.  
  
Also, 'at the end the hero came out looking like a lily-flower!’ …yep. Lily. Yuri~



[Edit: Apparently this one’s [a partial quote of a Japanese idiom](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.ohtori.nu%2Fscripts%2FEpisode_13.htm&t=YzcyMDlkMTYwODdiZmUzNGI3MjczN2Q2MDBmOThjOWY4NTI3NjVhMiw2NjdGQkpudA%3D%3D&b=t%3A9nz1CTF245iQXniZOuIHpA&p=https%3A%2F%2Fbibliomatsuri.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F170742564904%2Fliveblogging-revolutionary-girl-utena-part-15-a&m=1).

> The complete saying is:
> 
> “Tateba shakuyaku, suwareba botan, aruku sugata wa yuri no hana.”
> 
> A faithful translation would be:
> 
> “Standing, she is like a (herbaceous) peony; sitting, she is like a (tree) peony; and walking [her form] is like a lily.”
> 
> It’s a stock phrase to describe such a radiant beauty that every movement adds to her charms. The reason why they say that phrase here is that…well, that’s an open question. 

…I still think they also used the word ‘yuri’ on purpose. I mean, some of the symbolism in this series is about as subtle as a brick to the face. Especially if you know any [floriography](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=http%3A%2F%2Flanguageofflowers.com%2Fflowermeaning.htm&t=MjdhYTRlNjJjZGZhMmNkZWEyMDg4MDc5MGQxOWJlZmQ2NjgxYWY5ZCw2NjdGQkpudA%3D%3D&b=t%3A9nz1CTF245iQXniZOuIHpA&p=https%3A%2F%2Fbibliomatsuri.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F170742564904%2Fliveblogging-revolutionary-girl-utena-part-15-a&m=1) / hanakotoba.]

  * The Nanami interlude is… creepy. Not just the fact that Touga apparently has a recording of his own voice saying his designated line playing on loop, and it’s not just how he’s staring into space and Nanami’s obsessing over him - it’s all of it at once, coming together. I’m a bit scared now.  
  

  * And cut to the dueling forest, the tower, and …the castle?! Apparently. And here we have two new characters: the so-far-unnamed man who narrates this episode, and. um. the _prince_ , apparently. The same little prince on a white horse from the familiar Utena-backstory fairytale that prefaced this episode. And he’s just crouching in place, not speaking or reacting, on a floating ball patterned with (you guessed it) the Rose Crest.


  * Apparently the prince is asleep? (Even though he later reacts to the narrator’s monologuing.) Like, 'fairytale princess’ sleep. Magic enchanted sleep that’s the next thing to death. And… hm. Each duel has an effect on him: regaining hope after “friendship” (Saionji 1), the seal cracking after “choice” (Saionji 2).   
  
Then there’s “reason” (Miki), “love” (Juri), “adoration” (Nanami), “conviction” (Touga 1), and “self” (Touga 2).   
  
…fuck, these duels are all ~~named~~ called the /opposite/, the lack or /loss/ of what those words are. “Friendship” happens bc of Wakaba, but Wakaba never even finds out about it. “Choice” is all about Utena getting railroaded. In “reason” Miki is being flat-out unreasonable. “Love” is just… a cruel joke. Touga certainly doesn’t “adore” Nanami. “Conviction” is the one where Utena /loses/ her will to carry on! And in “self” the duel itself /isn’t about Utena/ - she’s fighting for someone else, against someone else. Who comes up with these names?



B) The way the episode clips are re-cut. Remixed? Either way, the duel choruses / duels are intercut with scenes from elsewhere in each episode in ways that… well, they make me think.

* * *

Miscellaneous things I noticed:

  * Not from the clips, but the fairytale intro-  
  
It’s not just 'prince on a white horse’ - it’s _wandering_ prince on a white horse. The questing hero is an archetype with a lot of variations, most of them boiling down to: What exactly is the hero’s quest for? And why? (And what are the hero’s flaws? How are they tested, how can they fail.)  
  
The word used here for 'princess’ is “ohimesama” - very formal, very respectful, very old-fashioned and fairytale-like.  
  
(The word most often used for 'princess’ throughout s1 is “himesama” - not _quite_ as respectful and old-fashioned, but it’s up there. The sole exception is [Touga, who in e11 refers to Utena as “himegimi”](https://bibliomatsuri.tumblr.com/post/166955815024/liveblogging-revolutionary-girl-utena-part-1c).)  
  
And the word the prince uses for “we” is “watashi-tachi” which… he’s speaking very very formally, very self-effacingly. Very much the ideal of a prince.  
  

  * From Anthy’s infamous self-intro in e1 “The Rose Bride”:  
  
Anthy: “From now on, I am your bride.”  
  
In the original Japanese, the “I am your bride” bit is transliterated as “anata no hana desu”. First of all, there’s the connotations of 'anata’ (something like ‘dear / beloved’; something a wife is supposed to call her husband). And then there’s 'hana’. Literally flower. Maybe it’s a homophone thing and I’m just not catching it bc I don’t know kanji, but it’s starting to sound like “bara no hanayome” is …redundant. Flower of the Roses?  
  

  * …I. am reminded of how very awful and sexist and shit-awful Saionji is. It’s played for comedy and almost normalized after the first two episodes, but he really does treat Anthy like - well, like she isn’t a person. And that’s just really not acceptable. Not-caring about someone you’re using for your own ends is one thing, but consider showing a little basic human goddamn courtesy? Not _slapping_ her just because you feel like throwing a shitfit? Fuck this asshat.  
  

  * [Unreliable narrator alert, but still: in e2 (Nozomi sub), Saionji says “The Sword of Dios doesn’t have any special powers… It is a champion’s blade, belonging only to the best.”   
  
If the sword itself isn’t magic, then where is the magic coming from?  
And 'only to the best’ is just driving in the point that this is a competition (why) over a person… but “champion”? In English, at least, “champion” doesn’t just mean 'the best’. In the context of medieval-ish fairytale-type stories, the champion is the one who fights in the lady’s place, for the lady’s honor - ladies don’t fight, of course.]  
  

  * *headdesks* Miki. _Miki_ , stop projecting your sister onto Anthy. (At least he backs off after the duel. There’s hope there… I think.)  
  

  * Juri, please stop digging in and stabbing people repeatedly in their emotional weak points just because you got set off. I can empathize without condoning her actions, and I’m doing so right now.  
  

  * [notes on the “Tenshi Souzou, Sunawachi Hikari” recut: There’s a succinct summation of the love triangle mess at 'Nyx (Night), Erebus (Darkness), Uranus (Sky), Thanatos (Death)’.   
  
And how did I _just_ notice the line “arayuru kiseki ni umare, gyunusu (born into every miracle, gynous)”?  
  
…and for that matter, “hikari kagayaku karada kyuukei, gynous (spherical bodies shining with light, gynous)”, right before that. Celestial bodies… so, would those lines together be something like 'stars brought to life with every miracle’?  
  
And more generally: “Koumyou, kagen. Eien wo ki shite, sunawachi gensho ni modoru fukanzen! (Light, temporary existence. Seeking eternity, namely the folly of returning to the beginning!)”   
  
!!!!!!!!!!!!!! is literally my brain right now.   
  
The title of the song is “Tenshi Souzou, Sunawachi Hikari (Angelic Creation, Namely Light)” - and now 'light’ is coming back, and _namely_. Namely, the folly of trying to go back to how it was at the start. Existence is temporary, life is fleeting, and miracles _don’t happen on their own_ , now do they?)]  
  

  * …creepy thought: In s1 e9, Nanami’s flashback shows her in a pink dress with a red bow in her hair. In s1 e3, Touga sends Utena a pink dress with a red bow. *pulls at hair* why. …to mess with Nanami’s head, doy.  
  

  * Hm. There’s the image of red apples right before the drowning-the-kitten scene. I don’t think I have to explain the apples / forbidden-fruit-of-knowledge / loss-of-innocence connection in too much depth here. I mean, hey, it could be a coincidence! Coincidence is totally a thing that can happen in this show.  
  

  * “Toki wa kajutsu, gensou no (Time is hypothetical, illusory) umarehajime no butai-souchi (the stage setting we create at the beginning of our birth)” - again with this!   
  
Time is fleeting. The stage-setting (just look at “Spira Mirabilis Gekijou (Miraculous Spiral Theater)” and “Nanibito mo Kataru Koto Nashi (No One Has Anything To Say)” for choruses that specifically focus on the imagery of the stage, the theater, the actor (“When Where Who Which”) - this is all leading up to something even bigger than the second Touga duel, I just haven’t seen it yet. (And I’m going to wind up writing one of these rambleposts just on the duel chorus lyrics, I suspect.)  
  
“Kako nashi, tada genzai, mirai nashi. (We have no past, no future, only now.) Teotoru uchuu ni tada hitori. (All alone in the cosmic theater.)” - yep. YEP.  
  
A ha. So remember how in the ep, the song “Last Evolution” kept going as Nanami extended the duel past losing her flower? Yeah. That doesn’t happen here. I’m not sure what that means yet, but… if yet-unnamed-man is the narrator, does that mean all the flashbacks are from his POV?


  * Hm. No flashbacks for the Touga duels. …hmm.



* * *

And in between all of these, there’s the narrator going on and philosophizing, dropping arc words left and right. None of the arcs introduced in s1 are actually _resolved_. They’ve barely even started.

“Could she be the person we were hoping for?” - and the narrator’s shadow, and a pink rose. (Huh. Which character had pink that one ti- right, Utena.)

What. is the Power of Dios? And why does narrating-man want it to wake all the way up? 

(I’ll freely admit to not having found that ominous at all on my first watch-through, just intriguing. I’ve since been slightly spoiled on later arcs of this show, and gotten more genre-savvy about how fairytales and deconstructions and fairytale-deconstructions work. Also, I’d like to think I’ve grown a bit in ten freakin’ years.)

> Narrator: …the duel called 'revolution’.

Arc word! Arc word!

> Narrator: Don’t glare at me like that.

Wait. Glare? So the prince is awake? Or at least has his eyes open. He’s awake enough to react to the narrator, even if the audience can’t see his face. …???

> Narrator: When we finally reach the day we’ve waited and hoped for, we will both profit equally from it.

And then he drops the pink rose carelessly on the floor, and leaves. 

(…that silhouette with him has to be Anthy. Did she follow him there, or… uh… I don’t know what’s happening rn.)

…Anthy sure does that not-answering-questions evasion trick when she doesn’t want to (can’t?) answer a question truthfully. And “The clouds are moving quickly” - really? How very oracularly cryptic of you, Miss Anthy.

And cut to: clouds passing over a full moon, a black rose in a glass case, a butterfly pinned in a glass case, and a rose-patterned window with… the Shadow Girls’ UFO, landing? Uh.

Oh, a black signet ring! That’s not ominous at all. What.

* * *

I’m trying to pick out what part of the next episode preview is the _most_ suspicious and just. EVERYTHING! All of it, all of this is suspicious as freaking hell even without late-arrival-spoilers. 

Anthy’s brother says he doesn’t know about the duels, when he just spent an episode narrating about them? The hell. 

What kind of fucky setup is Utena walking blindly into now - or rather, what has she been walking into since this whole story even started?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 10 February 2018 #revolutionary girl utena #quotes #meta #shadow girls rgu #tenjou utena #kiryuu nanami #kiryuu touga #ohtori akio #dios rgu #himemiya anthy #saionji kyouichi #kaoru miki #arisugawa juri #canon-typical tw s#matsuri reacts #trivia  
> #i'm actually a little bit ahead of this in my rewatch #on to the start of the second arc  
> #and everything gets literally and metaphorically dark - dark like black - straight out of the gate#...  
> #(i have no idea if i used the title properly but screw it)


End file.
